2009 ends today….and I’m glad to see it go.  I’ve got to be honest.  It’s been a Psalm 22 year.  I was reading through the Psalm 20’s or so and came across the 22nd.  For me personally and so many others that I know, it has been that type of year.  Would definitely encourage you to check Psalm 22 on your own when you have time, but here are the first two verses that kind of give a glimpse into that chapter:

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help?
Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night you hear my voice, but I find no relief. (NLT)

Now, please don’t misunderstand, there have been a number of positive and good times, this past year, and there are so many things that I look at in my life and know that I am a blessed man.  And when considering the plight of others and what they have been through/going through, my junk seems trivial at times.

If you know me, then you know that I am horrible at hiding what’s going on in the inside.  In fact, that’s probably part of why I’m writing this post…that and it is somewhat therapeutic for me.  Had a friend last night even comment to me “it’s good to see you smile” which is code for “what’s your problem been?” 🙂  Life is like that during seasons of our life…that’s true for everyone.  When those times are prolonged for months and years, it weighs on you.  From unrealized dreams to illness and disease, life is tough.

Last January, I wrote down some goals and some dreams….in fact I wrote down 10 specific thoughts under the heading of where I saw us/myself within a year (that would be now).  How many of those dreams were realized? …. 1

So, on to a new year.  I probably will write down some more dreams and goals for the new year.  Some will be the same as last year, some will be new I’m sure.  I don’t have any new answers, insights, resolutions to make or 10 steps to a new and improved me….or you.  I do have some thoughts for any that have had a Psalm 22 year.  Some of these I’ve been processing, some that I’m still trying to “get there”.  These won’t be terribly deep, just real:

1. You’re not alone…there are others that have been and are going through what you are. I think for me, that has been huge.  Partly because I can look at where they are now and realize that they made it through.  That gives me hope.
2. My time vs God’s time. My timing is not His timing.  His timing is not my timing.  This is probably the hardest truth to live and work through.  The Bible is full of stories where God would make a promise, a realization of a dream, and the fulfillment of that promise or dream would take years.  His time is not our time.  It doesn’t mean that God’s not at work, it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t care, it just means….His timing is not my timing..rinse and repeat.
3. In the meantime…. If you’re in the area between “the promise and the payoff” of your dream (to quote Furtick), find a place to serve and do that.  Not a place that is your “job” or in your area of core competency necessarily…just a place where you can help meet a need.
4. Mumble a lot of prayers.  This is a goal, a hope and a need of mine that I’m experiencing and need more of through my day.

Anyway, I really do hope that you have a very happy new year, a great and memorable new year.  Perhaps a Psalm 20 year:

May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.
May the Lord answer all your prayers. (vv. 5-6, NLT)